Grey Matter(s)

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

unrelated puppy photo

Here's something a little less materialistic than the usual life / shopping / crafting content over here. Roll on over to the little red "x" right now if you're all like "but wait that's the only reason I read this blog" haha. 

I've had this concept on my mind for a long time and every now and again it pops up in different circumstances. I'm always very conflicted by the whole idea of watching something wrong go down, and then gauging whether or not to respond. Where to draw the line and how to intervene is a struggle sometimes.

Is it wrong to watch the cashier not scan one of your items? What if you only realize when you're already home, or if it was only a pack of gum? What if you watch your friends cheat on exams or assignments? Is it your place to confront them or to cue the prof in that cheating is happening? What if someone lies filling out an official document? Or if whatever you've witnessed has no implications for you whatsoever?

When I find myself in these types of situations my instinct is always hey this is really wrong, and if I do choose to be silent that tends to make me feel crummy. My sense of  right and wrong is usually pretty unwavering and the conscience in my stomach makes sure to tell me when it is piqued. But my responses to these instincts are where the challenge lies. I let my thoughts on "the right thing to do" stew, and usually have to run my plans by my mom or someone I trust to reassure myself that I'm not being overly crazy. It doesn't feel great to be the one to speak up and "rat someone out" or to be the "prude".

What I'm learning (slowwwlyy) is that we have to follow these instincts, more often than not they are there for a reason! When something feels icky, get problem solving. When something you've done to another feels off, just apologize. But what we shouldn't do is spread our concerns around to others not involved. Asking a close friend  for advice is different than venting to so-and-so about how someone else is up to no good. This is obviously hard because this stuff can be good gossip.  And that's another rant topic in itself!

So if you're still reading after these incoherent ramblings, I'd really like to know what you do when you find yourself in the grey area between your gut instincts and other thoughts and motivations? Are you alright with being the "prude" or the "tattle tale" in these types of situations, or do you prefer to let things play out without intervening?